15 Mar 2017 by Hazel
If you start reading this and your immediate response is “that is not always possible” then that will be your first challenge because that is where I started. I absolutely agree that negative things happen and during those times the positive side can be unreachable but there is always a way through if you allow yourself to reach for the positive side of life. I fundamentally agree that you get what you look for. Allow me to illustrate this.
Almost three years ago, despite all I had I lived in fear of losing my partner, losing control of my weight, losing my home and losing my job and ending up in a cardboard box on the street with my son having to move in with his father. I would wake each day with these thoughts going round and round in my head. As you can imagine my behaviour was governed by these awfully negative thoughts and it got worse and worse and as it did so these fears started to slowly emerge. First the loss of control of my weight, so now not only was I really grumpy and agitated but I was becoming anti-social. I would rarely go out or entertain. So it is no surprise that eventually my partner called it a day and left. Now two of my fears came to the fore, what was next? I am certain that had I carried on the others would have followed but it was at this point this lesson hit home. If I immersed myself in negativity then I would behave negatively and the outcome would be negative. So logically if I immersed myself in positivity then the opposite had to be true.
After a few months of “time out” trying to put together the pieces of my life I started to dabble in mindfulness, I turned to my guru Brenè Brown and I reflected on the many lessons I had learnt from my friend Jules Jackson. I made a conscious decision to stop worry about things that may happen in the future and chose to believe that all would be well. That is not to say that I ignore the future, I do plan for it to some extent, it is just I am far more focused on today.
A couple of years ago my father passed away. He had been frugal all his life, saving for when he and Mum retired. Sadly he enjoyed a short time in retirement before becoming ill and eventually the worst happened and he died after an operation. Yes Mum is well cared for and worries for very little now but I can almost guarantee you she would have preferred if they had spent some of the money (which she will never spend) doing fun things together. My positive outlook is centred around now. Make the most of this moment in time because yesterday is gone and tomorrow, well who knows what tomorrow will bring.
So today is wonderful. The sun is shining, I have a secure home, I am healthy as are those I love, I have an income which affords me the luxury of travelling and dressing well. I have amazing, helpful and supportive friends and life is full of incredibly positive aspects.